1/3/10

Memory loss

Posted by Dalton

haven't posted anything in a long time. the last i talked, i was sure i was on the verge of an epiphany about my own personality. turns out it's more of a subtle understanding than anything else, but it's only noticeable when i reflect on my old posts. perhaps it was an epiphany, but there was no moment of wonder or confusion when it occurred, it instantly became natural. i'm still introverted, but there is a confidence building that i've only seen through mushrooms. perhaps coke can do the same, but fuck that. i'm planning on getting some mushrooms and eating them little by little just for the confidence, because it seems like every time i do them i get the same amount of confidence no matter the dosage, and it has a leftover effect every time. if i can transfer this experience into my long-term memory with enough emphasis, i should be able to reach my goal. provided i can really quit weed for good like i want to and stop fucking up my short term memory. weed is a renewable shortcut to semi-bliss that darkens the way towards true happiness.

Note: This entry is a truncated version of what is now a draft; while I was writing, I began brainstorming an idea about theoretical physics that grew remarkably complex while remaining mathematically and logically sound. If my theory works out like a dream, I will publish it as a scientific finding. If I find that I am incorrect and the math does not work out, I will eventually post it here for curiosity's sake, or perhaps for someone else to find a minor tweak that would rework it. I'll tell you this about it: I feel comfortable in every way about my purpose in the universe at this point in my belief that the theory is correct. Also, it is no way religious, though it doesn't discount the possibility of a God.


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