I always had very poor posture from computer use beginning in my pre-teen years. I was ‘exiled’ so to speak from the social crowd and after about 10 years of self reflection I noticed there seemed to be something I was searching for. During a spontaneous LSD trip (which I never done before and had no expectations) I suddenly found that which I had been searching for. My mind was ‘centered’ and I can only describe it as waking up. I had achieved peace of mind, and it was accompanied by great heat throughout my core up to my heart, something akin to heartburn but not painful. Over the last year now since it happened, I have been evolving spiritually in ways I cannot even comprehend, to the point where I have gone from being aware of my unconscious to now being MORE aware through my right brain than left. This heat in my chest has almost forced me to stand up straight for the first time in my life and now that my back muscles are developed enough to do so, it is beginning to move its way up my spine, following the progress of my back muscles and it is now in my throat and neck; a great tingling heat that causes me to go on ‘auto-pilot’ as you said and breathe very deeply and slowly and now crane my neck backwards and yawn for very long periods of time. This seems to be a spontaneous form of meditation, and I am feeling the heat in my throat begin to rise even further towards the top of my spine at the base of my skull and behind my nose and eyes. It is a wonderful experience, yet very tiring on my weak back muscles. My meditation has evolved it seems, as the faint green light I always end up seeing has intensified to a very highly detailed bright green, usually taking the form of vibratory geometrical patterns with great definition in the lines, as though I am looking at the surface of rippling water. Why it is green, I do not know, but it first began with the heat in my chest and now that it is moved up into my throat and towards my third eye it has intensified. I now understand why a lot of people think they are Jesus when they go through this and lose touch with reality. I feel that is their ego realizing that this is the same thing that happened to Jesus and trying to use it to their own advantage. I understand that I am inheriting the Christ Consciousness and I plan on spending my life as a vagrant and healing others.
time slows down when consciousness is more aware, which should be agreeable by anyone who has experienced this during a pivotal moment in a sports game or anything that requires higher awareness. less consciousness means time goes faster (sleeping). if energy is the source of consciousness as it obviously must be, then the more complex the energy of the universe gets the more conscious the entire universe must be as a whole and time will slow down. until finally, complexity and consciousness would be infinite and time would stand still as anything and everything that could possibly happen exists at once.
I just made a friend. I've been at school for 13 months and this is the first new friend I've made strictly via socialization. All of my previous new friends were either roommates or friends of friends. Doesn't happen often in my life.
I'm just a 21 year old college student carelessly riding the brink of failure in life simply because I'm way more interested in ontological and cosmological matters than any part of my traditional schooling. Almost everything I know about anything other than D-level secondary school academics is primarily self-taught, which is achieved through imaginative ideas tested by my synaesthetic ability to visualize the true nature of anything before I even understand it, and then reverse engineering what I see to figure out how it works. I have a lifetime schooling GPA of only 1.8 from doing absolutely no schoolwork whatsoever other than tests and exams (which, because I always aced, allowed me to pass every class with minimum grades). Though I never even failed a single class, I always slept in class, never took notes and always used my own creative approach rather than the traditional method being taught to my peers. I was once believed to be a 'special' student needing both academic and psychological help, but was just re-diagnosed with ADHD when I scored a 149 IQ during psychological testing. I also scored in the top 20% of my class with a 1270 on SATs despite falling asleep for the majority of the reading section (which created the social belief that I was some kind of retard savant). The point I'm making is that I fully admit my own lack of book-smarts (which I've noticed is obtainable by even the biggest idiots), but proudly boast my birth-given ability to truly understand the nature of anything and everything in the universe without having to justify my beliefs with symbolic explanations. What I understand is irrefutable, because it is based on mental/visual experience rather than linear-minded comprehension. The results of my lifetime experiment with my own intuition are proof enough to me, and I do not have to find a way to justify why you should believe me; I do not care whether you believe me or not, because belief exists only in the context of possible doubt. I do not have to believe; I know.
people undergo development of the ego, or personality, in their youth. during this time they are molded by key events that trigger chemicals in the brain and store them as vivid memories. as people age out of their youth, these events no longer occur and the brain's ego is at a standstill. people become stuck in the tastes of their youth, for the rest of their lives, reflecting and reliving on the past. this is because the ego is equivalent to a mask we hold in front of our faces. we know what we want to be, and we mold that mask look the way we want. but this is the two sides to us, the part of us that acts like what we want to be (the part that turns pure thoughts into english) and the part of us that KNOWS what we want to be, and the ego feeds off of this like a parasite, striving to be like it. this is the source of all religion. god vs the devil. the devil is a fallen angel that tried to be like god; the devil is your ego. i mean that just as a metaphor, not in the belief of a real devil. it is the dualism created by having two waking brain states that are interacting with each other and therefor aware of each other, and collectively aware of their 'self', which is the 'self' that we are.
The moment I read what you wrote, I knew it to be true. This realization came through the same conduit of synaesthesia. Along with it came the understanding of just how the spirit is able to connect to the conscious mind. Our conscious mind is powered, like all things, by energy. Energy is literally a separate dimension that our spirit is a part of, and consciousness is a property of all energy due to the infinite nature of spirit in general. My consciousness began as soon as I came to be an independent energy, created by the dualism between the genetic energies of my parents. This form of consciousness is incomplete, as the dualistic energies are still separate from one another as well as one's own energy, but their interaction directly influences the energy of consciousness. This dualism is a result of the natural property of all energy interactions to equalize. It is intrinsic in the universe and is directly responsible for the bilateral symmetry in humans, which creates the dualistic nature of the mind via left and right-brain thinking. The decision making process for us as beings is influenced by the interacting energies, occasionally favoring one over the other. This is known in psychology as conscious vs. subconscious thought. It should not be mistakenly believed that one brain hemisphere is directly related to one individual parenting energy
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I UNDERSTAND THE UNIVERSE.
it just hit me as I was typing this. this is absolutely amazing. I must meditate on this. My current understanding is equivalent to realizing that you have all 200 pieces of a 200-piece puzzle, but not yet knowing what the picture on it is. I am posting the above information here in an incomplete form to help me pick up where I left off on this issue rather than having to start over from my memory. I was originally typing it as a very late response to some insight I received on a forum, where I spoke out about my visions through synaesthesia and 'a knowing without learning' and encountered someone who knew exactly what I was talking about and spoke to me through the conduit of his own connection. It is here: http://thescienceforum.com/Am-I-crazy%2C-or-is-my-unconscious-speaking-to-me-23814t.php - I am Schiz0yd.
There is no question in my mind that I have been searching for a 'reason to live' my whole life. as a child it didn't take priority in my mind because I was too busy being a kid, but I dare to say I understood reality more than I do now. It is my vivid memory of childhood that drives me to understand, along with my current awareness which has very recently (last 4 months) begun to expand an insane amount. Intelligence thinking about intelligence. My search for a 'reason to live' became front and center when I entered severe depression bordering on suicide in which I literally had to search my inner self for a 'reason to live'. I decided that, though I didn't know exactly what it was, there was something inside myself that had a purpose. I knew that despite what I would go through, no matter how terrible, there was something very important about me. My rational mind dismissed this thought and remained in a state of depression, but I now believe that this is where my personality tore itself in two. My subconscious mind did not have to question the validity of my 'purpose' since it was also the source of this feeling. It is also the source of my creativity as an artist, my ability to create metaphors, my natural sense of 'good', the source of my 'prophetic visions' and my ability to experience all types of sensations both on demand and involuntarily. (the latter of which I find to be an increasingly invigorating experience on a daily basis the longer I'm alive) The disagreement between my subconscious and conscious minds on this matter must have been the original source of my cognitive dissonance; the disagreement between conscious and subconscious that creates all forms of stress and anxiety. When I finally achieved peace of mind, the conscious mind's grip on reality was destroyed and my subconscious was able to breathe the truth into my head. This was a dissolving of dualism within myself. I see my problem now, as well as the problem of many others, is that the natural order of society FORCES dualism upon us. Life as a working slave vs life at home being free, time under the influence of prescription medications vs time spent sober. (my view on experimenting with chemistry in the human body is that psychoactive drugs are just fine for the mind, as they do affect dualism and rather they erase it entirely.) Anyway, time watching your favorite show vs time suffering through commercials. It's a game, and the people are being played like pawns. Those who know what I now know are using their knowledge for selfish ends. Given the right amount of money, I could EASILY enslave a fresh batch of humans without them even realizing that they are slaves, and making them believe they have freedom while they don't even realize that their everyday job is profiting those they work for WAY more than it is helping themselves, yet their selfish desires are what drives them to continue working. Or rather, it is their selfish FEARS that drive them NOT TO STOP working. And this fear is wholly correct because of the individualism of humans, their inability to collectively act on something. If one person were to rally his coworkers about refusing to work for a VERY big company, he would need the support of EVERYONE involved, otherwise his allied coworkers would quickly realize that they are the minority and rejoin the corporate giant to avoid being replaced without a thought.
There are two fates for humanity in the next few years. They will happen simultaneously yet seperate from one another. What matters is the state of consciousness of the individual. Those who do not realize that they are stuck in a very narrow view of reality naturally have feelings of anger, sadness, regret and greed - these are the negative aspects of basic emotions. Their positive aspects are, respectively, love, happiness, confidence and compassion. People will literally be divided based on whether they live a negative or positive emotional life. I do not know what exactly will cause this, but it is very obvious that consciousness is naturally expanding for many people. Our existence is that of a wave. A wave as most know it is represented in a three-dimensional (two of space, one of time) model as seen in sound waves and AC electricity. Through my ability to visualize I recently realized that applying this same model to the third dimension of space creates something very interesting. The mid-line of the wave, the neutral point, is then a three dimensional position creating a 'line' in the dimension of time just as it did in two dimensions, but the oscillation of the wave itself does not just move up and down, but encircles the middle point, going 'behind' it. If the dimension of time is removed for purpose of perception, what you have left is a three dimensional SYSTEM, with a central energy source and an orbiting 'wave'. In quantum mechanics, waves will collapse into specific points as soon as they are observed, to become particles. If you haven't figured it out already: ACCORDING TO THE LAWS OF QUANTUM MECHANICS, A FOUR-DIMENSIONAL WAVE WOULD, UPON OBSERVATION, COLLAPSE INTO A SYSTEM OF ORBITALS EXACTLY LIKE THE SOLAR SYSTEM, GALAXIES AND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. We are a universal wave, traveling through time, and all of our fundamental forces of science are other-dimensional aspects of these waves. For example, electromagnetism is perfectly two-dimensional with positive vs. negative charge, with Ground acting as the mid-line in the wave visualization. As for the others, I have not put any thought into it yet but it seems VERY possible that gravity is a three-dimensional wave interaction, or interference pattern. Possibly higher dimensionality. Writing my thoughts down really helps me remember what the fuck I'm thinking about after I finish branching on a random topic that ADD leads me off on. Also, there seems to be a connection between the way a four dimensional wave would look if it had lines of its past, (in other words, imagine if our sun and planet were leaving bright trails behind them as the entire solar system flew through space over time) and the structure of DNA. This is a last second addition to my thoughts that I need to expand on later. THIS WILL BE CONTINUED.
